But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize