sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize