I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
