I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
