Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
