the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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