There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
