I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
