Don't you send me to vm
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
