i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
pray to the hookup gods
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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