Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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