I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
