Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
