Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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