as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize