What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
