I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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