Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
