So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
