Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
