How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
its not stalking. its research.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
