i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
