and you said cock pushups were impossible
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
