Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
