How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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