Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
