is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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