Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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