She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we're making bets on your personal life
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
