Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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