At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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