I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
