And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
