i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize