Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
