He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It was confusing and full of hummus
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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