from now on my penis is your penis
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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