I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
