is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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