no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
