You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
