Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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