Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
