Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
