It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
