you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
