should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
