...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
