We're like a lot better than the average bears
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My bed smells like the plague
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
