So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
