he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
