doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
