Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Randomize
