My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
