I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
