I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
