he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
