Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
