we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Panties = found
Randomize
