so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
