Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Randomize
