I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
