Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
