Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize