he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
