walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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